Love, what is it really? I don’t know. Soap operas present it as a dream then an obsession and then a madness. Each time I watch the portrayal of love in these soaps, I am infuriated. I will tell you why. Many scenarios in the plot of the story have two parties in love with each other but cannot be together, the party that is madly in love with another that could care less, the party that settles such that they do not hurt the other party and then there is my personal worst category: the parties that are in love with each other but consistently reject each other and then groan in pain when they are in private over not being with the one they love. But what is love?
With every movie that crossed my path, I swore never to be like the ones that are in love but wont allow themselves to be in love. Truly this just sounds so silly to me. I mean no one is in your way so why not take the bull by the horns. You are basically refusing to be happy. It simply never made any sense to me at least for a really long time.
A wise man once told me to give it time. In time I would figure out what this love thing is. I thought how hard it must be to have a love so unbiased. Was it even possible. Think with me for a moment: you and I have an image of what we think love looks like, right? And yes I am deliberately referring to it as plainly as LOVE and not TRUE LOVE as one may argue, why? Because I believe love is love and that there is no such thing as true love. You either love, hate, tolerate or just don’t give a damn.
It turns out he was right. We should learn from others mistakes but most often we learn best from our own or from the people close to us. The person is at home with you. I have had my fair share of trying to suppress feelings for fear of the response of my love and I have become good at it. In fact now I am not even sure about my feelings anymore. Each time I am around love, I feel I am missing something. No one was meant to be alone. God created you and I to have each other. We should love and accept to be loved.
No one should walk up to you and say oh its easy because it is not. Letting go your guard and trusting someone else is like trusting your life into your hands. It is hard for me because I am used to doing stuff for myself and not expecting help from someone else. Yes, you may ask, “But what does that have to do with love?” One may think they can compartmentalize their person. Separate who you are at work from who you are at home, at the beach, with friends and all that crap. Here is the thing you and I know that, that is a lonely place. Having the freedom to be who you are at all times is a load off anyone’s back. So yes, desiring to do stuff on my own does affect how I relate with others and consequently my love life.
I am still on my journey of figuring things out and how this love thing works. But here is what I have so far appreciated. For one to love, one must trust and with trust comes a free spirit and an openness that will set you free. My friend, go out and love like you are not afraid to be hurt, sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching and you might just find the joy in you that will give you the strength to risk taking the next step. Just saying!